In Judges 1:22-26 I read about a man who helped the Israelites and in return they let him and his family go when they took his city. It reminded me of Rahab. She did the same in Joshua 2. She helped the Israelites, and they spared her and her family. But there was a difference in their stories.
Rahab found refuge within the Israelites and married into the nation becoming part of the lineage of Jesus.
The man and his family left and built a new city in the name of the old city and he went unnamed.
Named or unnamed, I don't think that is what is important. I don't even think what God is pressing on me is Rahab's generational relations. What He pressed upon my heart was that some people find refuge with God and some don't.
In Jeremiah 34 I read about the Israelites who obeyed the Lord and set people free, only to turn around later and turn them back into slaves.
And then I read Psalm 89:10 and was a little flustered. "You crushed Rahab like a carcass; you scattered your enemies with your might arm." I didn't understand this verse at all, so it sent me digging into the original Hebrew, some concordances, and other verses to learn that in this instance Rahab is a Leviathon. It can mean affliction, overcome, pride, chaos that opposes God, arrogance.
Why did God remind me of Rahab and then lead me to this verse. Did it mean anything? Was there a connection?
As I studied, listened, thought, considered, and read I came to the conclusion that it's all tied together and it's tied to my feelings of being overwhelmed and anxious.
I have the choice, just like Rahab and the man exemplify, to find refuge in God or not. He can crush my affliction, arrogance, and chaos. And I can either do what God says which will bring freedom to myself and others, or I oppose Him.
I don't want to be set free only to move to a new place and rebuild the same thing I was living in previously. I want a new life. I know my God, and I get to know Him better daily. I believe He wants to set me free, crush my affliction, and allow me to find refuge within Him. That doesn't mean it will be easy or a cake walk. I'm walking with Jesus and that is intentional. No one ever said coddiwompling was easy; it's purposeful.
I confessed to some overwhelming chaos I was living within. Am living within. But I trust my God and when He said His grace was sufficient, I believe Him. When He said He'll be my refuge I believe Him. And when He calls me to action I will follow Him.
One step and one day at a time.