I stood in the shower thinking about how I would answer the question, "What do I want my life to look like?" And yes, there is the obvious answer of "However God wants" but I was asking for myself. Not because I would set it in stone, but because I needed the answers in my mind.
I want to help, teach, and learn. I want to do those things in regards to safety, health, and our souls. I want to live in a state of wellness and wholeness. I want to give it all to God.
Sometimes my feelings derail me from working towards these things. That's what happened last week, but in being vulnerable and opening up I was able to also work through how I was feeling. I was able to have others speak life into me and pray over me. I was able to put my feelings into the right place in my life.
Yesterday I spoke on Facebook about giving my fitness to God and how He calls me to different things on different days. I think we have this warped version of who God is that if we put Him in charge of our fitness we would be working out for hours at the highest intensity ever, and then running a marathon each day. We think if we put Him in charge of our food we would never eat a cinnamon roll again. But that isn't the example He gave us. We forget that when Jesus was here He worked, rested, pulled away, went into the crowds, and talked one on one. He fasted, went to weddings, and dinner parties. He wasn't out on the mountain side every day feeding 5000 people. He wasn't walking to all of the cities and helping all of the people all of the time.
I think God calls us to different things each day, as well, and by giving all of our stuff to God then He knows best what we need on the different days. We just have to listen to Him.
After my breakthrough last week I took a step out of my comfort zone over the weekend. I don't know if anything will come of it, and if something does it will require more of me. I know I can't allow my feelings to stop me from doing what God has for me to do. He will give me the strength and peace when I rely on Him.
Here we are at the end of February, with Lent beginning tomorrow. I haven't always done anything with Lent, but since I am more familiar with it now I have seen it as a waiting and preparing time. I didn't come up with a vision for myself over the past month as I had hoped. I simply keep being reminded of the hymn "Be Thou my Vision" and honestly right now that's for the best. Because no matter what I do or how I feel, or what a day looks like or calls for if I'm not relying on God then I wont do my best.
So, here's to March. May we listen to what God says to us, may we wait for His guidance, may we encourage one another onward, may we keep our hearts on Him, and may we work hard at what He puts in front of us.