You woke up early because the dog threw up on the bed. It woke the kids up, too, who have now decided they both want to play with the same toy and are waging WW3 for said toy. Your husband just shut the door behind him on his way to work. And you? Somehow you have to get the vomit cleaned up, everyone fed, the toys put away, everyone dressed, and regain peace to begin schooling the kids for the day. These are the moments where we fall into behaviors which may normally be ordinary, but become a moment of comfort in a way it shouldn't be.
I have begun noticing this behavior recently. I would be remiss to say I have always known I behaved in such a way or that these were the only ones I have. But when you start noticing what you turn to, you can start turning back to the way you should.
You see, the only One we should turn to is the Comforter of our Soul. God knows what we need in that moment to get us through. He gives us the strength and grace when we feel we have come to the end of our rope. But too often we don't turn to Him. We turn to other things instead.
Me? Shopping and Eating. Two things which are part of my life in ways that I can't give them up completely. I must eat to be nourished, grow strong, and God has given me all sorts of food for my good. And I have to shop to purchase the things we need and some things we simply can't do without. So I have to find a way to do these, without turning to them.
The difference, I have found, is in my heart. I know when I am choosing food because I am at my wit's end verses being time to eat or I'm hungry. I know when I am spending money to numb me out rather than deal with the situation. Since I have been made aware of these two behaviors in my life, I know when I am falling into them. It's so subtle others may not even be aware, but God has opened my eyes to it.
So, the question is, what are you turning to instead of God in those hard moments? Do you know? Sometimes we don't, and that's when we have to do the thing we should have so we can learn: turn to God. He can show us our heart because He knows our heart. Is it exercise? Is it movies? Is it coffee? Is it other people? See, almost always the thing we turn to and misuse is something that can be a good thing in our life otherwise. That's the trickiness of it all.
But until we know what we run to instead of God we will keep running to other things and not get the true comfort, strength, and healing that we need to start making better choices. It's not an overnight fix, but (as I have heard said in Revelation Wellness® so many times) until it's revealed it can't be healed.