Saturday, December 31, 2016

Hello 2017 - Goodbye 2016

It's one day after the next. The only thing that defines it are the calendars we have created. Which are based off the cycles of the sun and the stars. Which were set in motion by God. And so we recognize the end of one year and the start of a new in all our particular unique fashions. While I will acknowledge this passing and coming in my family's own way, I also am choosing to acknowledge it here in writing as well.

2016: Word of the year: BE

I became a Black belt.
We went to Italy to visit oldest and love.
We joined a new church.
I ran a marathon.
I became certified through ACE.
I ran my first solo half-marathon.
I began teaching the littles at K.I.C.S.
I became certified through Revelation Wellness®
We spent time with family in all the places.

Here in the last month of the year I have realized how my nature is to withdrawal, and because of the book I just finished reading I have learned how that is hurtful to other people. I have realized that while I am learning to listen to what God is telling me I will at times argue myself into the other direction because it "sounds good" and will regret that movement. I have become very aware of how much I need Jesus and transformation and sanctification. I had words of Truth spoken over me and to me and have seen my original design as God created me, and I have seen how far I am from that design some days. 


I had vision three weeks ago (call it a thought or a daydream as well) when I was thinking about that one big goal. I don't know half the time if they are mine or someone else's I have incorporated. But it was me in my own gym with my dog. I got my dog last week, and Chief is the best. I don't know if the gym will ever happen. As I was starting to think about this coming year and what I wanted from it my first thoughts, I will admit, were to the gym, classes I can teach, where I should teach, what I should do, and I felt overwhelmed by it all. But (I thought) I should do something with all these certificates. But then I finished reading my last book of the year (only 18 oh my word) and it was dropped in my heart that there was only one thing I should strive for this coming year. I need more Jesus. 

The year is fully open, with two vacations planned, some training for Chief and myself, and (believe it or not) some yarn sitting next to my chair. I want to read more, create more, learn more, and share more. But I know if I don't get more Jesus I'm going to keep falling into the same behavior patterns, and heart patterns, that lead me astray. And no matter what comes I need Jesus to do it right. I need more Jesus so that my heart, soul, mind, and strength line up together and work as they should. Even if nothing comes my way, and no changes occur, I will need more Jesus. 

Now, I am well aware that this can sound like a cop out. Believe me, I am the world's best debater when it comes to figuring out what I should do and where I should go. "More Jesus" is private, heart issues, which will hopefully be seen in changes in behavior, but it's not measurable, actionable, or any of the other things people say goals should be. And so maybe I'm taking the "easy" way out by going this way. But I don't think so. I think this may be the only way for me to sanely and safely get through this upcoming year, whatever it holds.

Then I saw the word on Pinterest which I thought totally suited what I feel like I am doing. "Coddiwomple." It's slang, and means "to travel in a purposeful manner to an unknown destination." I have no idea what 2017 has in store, but that doesn't mean I'm going to just meander my way through it. No, I will coddiwomple through 2017 with determination to stay close to Jesus allowing Him to change me into that original design He showed me, and with Him I will be okay wherever I end up.

And really, could there be a more fun word to say aside from Francisco? 

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