Thursday, December 1, 2016

A word flipped upside down showed me a pit

Last Sunday our pastor spoke about unity, and while the entire sermon was worth repeating, I need to focus on what struck my heart near the end. He said in order to have unity you have to speak out loud what you feel inside. Seems simple, right? Of course, we all know sometimes it's hard to do. But what struck me was what he said but upside down. In order to have unity we need to believe others are speaking what they feel inside. And that's when I realized I really do not do that.

God hasn't explained to me why I doubted and mistrusted to such an extreme, so I'm not really worried about that right now. If it becomes necessary I trust He will let me know. I need to be focused on what He did in fact show me. I don't have unity with people at times, or I cause a distance or disunity, because I simply don't trust what they say. Not people who have proven themselves untrustworthy, but rather innocent unsuspecting loving people who mean no harm.

Since God showed me this I have been working hard to not do it anymore. Yes, it's just one week, but hard work pays off, God's grace is amazing, and I believe I am not the same person I was last Sunday morning. I guess others would have to confirm or deny that statement fully, but I do know that God has been leading me to trust again and to believe others. 

I have to admit, I don't know if this idea would have struck me as hard had I not just come off the retreat intensive with Revelation Wellness®. You see, I have NEVER had so many people compliment my hair. Whether it was the curl or the color, it was pretty constant and surprised me every time. I was thrown for a loop and tried so very hard to simply receive the kind words. I know, this sounds like it's going nowhere and I'm completely off track, right? I promise, this is not a request for more compliments and really has nothing to do with the hair.

Well, on the last day, in the last moment, someone, I don't even know who, walked up to me and stated I must be the one everyone was talking about at breakfast. I tried to respond in a "I don't know what they are saying but I'm trusting it's good" way. Now, none of that is a quote, but I was left with the idea that maybe what was being said wasn't so nice after all. Maybe. And I doubted and was fearful. And I began to separate from everyone a little at that point, before we even got on the bus to return to the airport.

Now, this was not that girl's fault. It was me not trusting all those who had something kind to say to me the week before. Because if I didn't trust them on the little things like those compliments, then how could I trust them on some of the bigger things they said? And I was still struggling with that to some degree when the pastor spoke about unity. And I realized, had I not doubted what had been said I would have still stayed connected to the rest of the crew. I caused the disunity I felt, and others probably felt it come from me.

But God wouldn't leave me there. And now I'm being pulled out of that pit which I have been in a very long time and am so grateful that God is showing me what I do so that I can stop doing it. I am so grateful that I can have unity with others again simply by trusting what they say is what they mean.

And let me tell you, that doubt can creep from other people, to yourself, your loved ones, and even God. So, I beg you, don't give it a foothold. And, if God is showing you that you are causing disunity by doubting and mistrusting, allow Him to help you stop doing that to allow the unity its rightful place in your life. Because He will help you. He's good like that. And He's all about unity.

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