I'm not at a loss of words. They are pretty fluid going through my mind. The trick I'm having hard time with is figuring out how to place them here. Because I don't know if it's possible to explain what last week meant to me.
Let me start by saying I left insecurity and brought back bold. And with saying that I am fully aware there will be moments I'm not as bold as I want to be. The way through to bold is to rely on God, to hold on to Him, to listen to Him. I don't want to be bold to simply be in other people's faces. I don't want to be bold to simply prove a point. I don't want to be bold to show myself up or someone wrong. I want to be bold in God's love, strength, and wisdom. I want to be bold in who I am created to be by God.
And that was near the end of the week.
I'll be real honest here: in the airport waiting for my flight home the lies started quickly. I usually cave to them, falling under their weight and pressure. But this time I called them out. I wrote them down so that I could see what they were rather than letting them continue to whisper in my ear. Then, and this was powerful, I wrote down all the amazing wonderful moments I experienced that week. The ones where God touched me or another, the laughter with new friends, the phone calls with loved ones, and I also wrote down the lessons I learned from God. I put them right out there in black and white as well, written down on paper where I could see them. They happened. And the lies couldn't deny the truth of those moments.
I don't know how different I am from who I was a week ago. I know I have found new strength. I know I am using the resources God has given me. I know I count people in my life whom I didn't know before. I have been blessed. And in those ways I am different.
Should you expect a difference you can see? I don't know. Others have had such mentioned to them. I'm not hanging my hat on that though. I know my difference may be deeper and stiller and that makes it no less important and strong to who I am.
So, what happened last week? God showed me clearly how I was sinning against Him and not trusting Him, He also released me with new hope to move into tomorrow, and He allowed me to know I can be dependent on Him when I don't know where to turn, and that He will be with me through whatever may come. Some things I learned for the first time, and some things I learned deeper.
Oh, and I student taught a group fitness course and didn't do half bad.
It's about the faith and then the food and fitness, my friends. And so was the retreat intensive I attended as well.