How many of us are waiting. Waiting for a door to open, a path to be cleared, for more to be given? Giving ourselves good motives, we want to make much about God in this world, and therefore we need to have a great influence. A large crowd. Higher numbers. And some may look at this Proverbs and see God promising exactly that.
"Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce;
then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine."
But this morning my heart knew without a doubt that God is not promising me more stuff, regardless of what I would do with it. He is not promising me more reach, even if I used it to share His name. The verses after this one are about discipline coming from the Lord and not resenting it. The verses before this are about listening to God in all things and not assuming we know everything. And here, for me this morning, God is calling me to change my perspective about what I am given.
For me to want more, I have to be looking elsewhere. Look at it from a knowledge perspective. If I only know what is in front of me, then I don't desire anything else. Similarly, when I start to look at what others have, that's when I want more. Could it be seen as a coveting issue? You'll need to talk to God about that one on one. For me, yes it is.
I've been counting on people and connections to help me get my foot in the door of the group fitness world. I knew one door was closed, but I kept sticking my foot in the other door trying to keep it open. Truth be told, I don't know if any of the doors are open or closed right now, but I haven't been giving anything to God and waiting on Him to do with it as He sees fit. No, I've been waiting on other people. As if they were the only way I could do anything.
I believe God is telling me to simply give it all to Him. My hopes, dreams, what I'm currently doing, and allowing Him to do with it as He sees fit. He knows what I can handle. He knows what tomorrow holds. Me, I only want more to be famous or extraordinary. My ego still wants to be seen rather than pointing to Him in all things.
It's painful to have that revealed when you thought you had it in line. But discipline from the Lord is something good because He loves me and He gives me the grace to be different. So there's not shame and guilt, but rather hope and joy. God doesn't leave me in my striving. He wants me to look to Him.
My "barns and vats" will be full to overflowing when my focus is God. There will be no counting, striving, looking at what others have; no, just waiting on the Lord, listening to Him, and being thankful for all He has brought me, honoring Him with what I do now, and giving it all back to Him.