Tuesday, September 27, 2016

When your friend is in the hole of insecurity

Here's the thing, looking back I know no one did anything. Nothing happened. There was no moment in time where I can say *that* is what caused it. People were kind, complimentary, supportive. And I would guess a lot of people who struggle with insecurity would say the same thing when they get to the other side of a struggle. You see, insecurity is not based on anything anyone else does. In this moment of sanity I can say that clearly. But in the middle of it? The world was against me.

So, what can you do if you see your friend spiraling down the insecurity hole? Listen carefully: no matter what you do it may not help. No matter what you say or how much love you show, this struggle is within them and your outside help may not make a difference. But please, for all that is good in this world, don't give up. They need you to battle with and for them. A few things you can do you.

1. Love. 

Listen, hold their hand, look them in the eyes. Let them know you are there for them because they don't necessarily see the insanity they are in the middle of. Remember, love is an action word and they need you to love them hard right now, even if they are pushing you away because they think they don't deserve it. 

2. Pray. 

This is one of the things I can say will definitely help them, and sometimes the only thing. Pray for their hearts to be open to God's love and Truth and pray that everything else gets shut out. Step in and intercede for them while they can't see what's true and real.

3. Talk. 

Speak truth to them. If you can tell they are off kilter speak gently, but speak truth into their ears and pray it goes to their heart. Don't expect them to snap out of it, but speak to the soul of the person you know and care for. Even if all you can do is gently tell them to stop and focus on God, speak.

4. Persevere. 

This is not your issue to resolve, and you can't fix them. Don't wear that responsibility for it is not yours. But continue to give support, love, and kindness as you can. They need it in the middle, and also afterwards. They need to know you have mercy for their crazy and that you believe God's grace is doing it's good work even if it's taking time.

Life isn't easy for any of us, we all have our issues, but if you have a friend dealing with insecurity and want to do something to help them, I hope this list helps you. Remember, only God can heal them fully, and it's a process for many. They wish more than you that it was a miracle healing in a moment. Have patience with them when they cycle through again. Prayerfully the cycles will be shorter and they will see where they are quicker.

Thank you for continuing with them in this battle.

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