Saturday, May 28, 2016

Goals: Soul

When I think of the "soul" category my mind has a tendency to consider my relationship with God. How I connect with, learn from, commune with, worship God is how I love Him with my soul.

This category also seems as if it would include the very essence of me, who I am. That I love Him will all of me is the idea of this scripture, but this category of "soul" doesn't include any other people.

This is not about me following rules, checking boxes, following formulas, or listening to others. This is about me listening to myself, following my God, listening to His Word, and being who He created me to be.

In that regard my goal here is twofold. First, I will simply continue the study I am doing in Jeremiah, and second, I will continue to be the me He created. Which, honestly, I'm learning more about me all the time and things are surprising me some.

What I mean by that, is I always categorized myself as a shy introvert who was highly sensitive. Now, I very well may fit into those categories to a degree, but I'm also now seeing myself more as a extroverted introvert with anxiety issues. And then I laugh that I'm trying so hard to categorize myself.

The most recent personality test I took I got INFJ as an "advocate" and I can totally see that. I can also see me fitting into other categories that other friends shared. I think sometimes in our rush to define us we put ourselves in more boxes than anyone else would think of doing.

And I see God just laughing a little and shaking His head. Can't you see it? He doesn't care what label we or anyone else puts on us. It doesn't matter to Him and He wants it to not matter to us. He wants us to live free as His Child. There will be hardships, heartbreak, hurt, injustice and pain in this world, but He wants us to love, be joyful, have peace, and live true.

As I've been reading Jeremiah (7-10 this past week) I'm constantly reminded of how God wants to have a relationship with us. He wants each of us to turn to Him and trust Him more than others or other things. Jeremiah was both exhausted and heartbroken over the way the Israelites refused to follow God, but thought they were following God. That's not who I want to be.

I want to know God within the very essence of who I am. I want to be connected to Him in a way that is noticeable, visible, obvious, but not because I want others to be amazed, or awed, or impressed. I want to lose my desire to impress this world and other people. I want to lose my fear of what other people think. I want to only desire God's approval and allow Him to lead me fully in my life. From the very essence of who I am out into the smallest actions I take on a daily basis.

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